On the morning of Tuesday 22nd February, at about 7am, one of our Ukrainian borders came to the door; she looked worried and distressed. At first she said she was not feeling well, then I realised something terrible had happened. Putin's army fired the first bomb in Kyiv, and officially declared war. I rushed to my wife, also Ukrainian, to break the news; we sat on the bed in shock, realising the last eight years of occupation in the Donbass and Crimea areas, Putin's 'frozen conflict' was now thawing into full-bloodied aggression against civilians.
These last two weeks have been a test of how to live a life knowing loved ones are in danger. Regions close to us have had communications cut off and water, electricity, gas and food supplies. We have rallied our students most affected by the war, made phone calls to parents and discussed with various SLT staff about how best to support our students who need our help. I also have to think about my wife. She shows the defiant yet compassionate characteristics seen by ordinary folk in Ukraine. Her courageousness to support students despite her own worries about family has been nothing short of inspirational.
Understandably, priorities have shifted now. Things that seemed important before no longer matter. There’s a numbness to how I go about my day as I try to avoid news and social media posts, I only ask if my family are safe and when can I speak to them again. For those curious about what it is like to be involved in a war, its an overwhelming feeling of fear, helplessness, survivor guilt and sometimes a bizarre 3rd person perspective when others talk about the war. When my colleagues discuss the finer details of geo-politics, Nato stratagy or what was recently reported in the news, it feels like they are talking about the latest Netflix special. The worse is when you get those awkward stares, I sense people just don’t know how to act around me.
To block outside distractions, I use strategies to get through the day, such as this mantra, ‘I am blessed to work in a music/drama department where students want to learn from me’. It shows me what I sometimes miss and keeps me focused on what students present to me, even those who don’t fully engage with my lessons. There have been moments where I think to myself, ‘I’m about to crumble here’. I breathe deeply and put all my energy into delivering my lessons and commit fully to what my students create in a lesson.
Healthy distractions, such as instrument practise (currently transcribing Jaco’s solo on ‘Havona’, why didn’t I do this at Conservatoire?!!) and the always enjoyable blasting of my late 70s Vox AC30 through my Gibson CS339 guitar and Beano Boost pedal help tremendously. It feels great to be in my final year of Masters and begin my dissertation, I hope I can carry out the last piece of research and realise my topic in a way that will make a huge difference in music education.
Most importantly, if it wasn’t precious enough before, the time spent with my wife is even more special. Just a simple walk along the beach with our dog meant everything, no distractions from work, no planning of Wednesday P8 drama, no thinking of how to write the trombone section in my ensemble, just us, and the beach.
I find it hard to rationalise what’s happening in Ukraine. Still, music and my teaching have given me what I need.
I find myself searching for goodness in the human spirit. Young people have this in abundance. This week I had my KS3 students perform in a ‘Band Night’ concert, we initially had loads of bands performing, then one student dropped out and then rest followed. I was quite upset because I was tasked with leading the concert and figured the seven groups left might also call it quits. Not only were they super keen to rehearse during break times, they fully committed to our tech runs and really wanted to make a show, which they did. Coupled with a live audience (something we haven’t had since lockdown) meant the concert was a success, I cannot remember having this much fun when running a concert.
I thank my excellent students, our girls in the boarding house, and various colleagues at school for their support in helping my wife and me during this time of crisis. If anyone has been affected by the war, and wants to reach out to me, please drop me a message.
Peace and love to you all x
Mike Wright Music Education 