Hello, it's been a while, hasn't it? How are things? This is how we usually start a conversation with old forgotten friends. For my channel, it certainly has been a while! My creative writing chops are a bit rusty; the same goes for creating ideas for new content. Before I explain why I have been inactive here and talk about plans for this channel, I just wanted to say it is good to see you again. We have lots to catch up on!
I planned on writing my two cents on the Model Music Curriculum when it was released but decided to rework it another time into a blog on the different justifications that music educators use to promote and support music. Then I planned on writing content based on my classroom practice using Soundtrap, but James Manwaring’s excellent posts on this beat me to it! Then work got in the way with various shows, musicals, and recitals to plan for (As you may know, these can be the most frustrating, stressful, and thankless things a music teacher can do, but they provide some with beautiful memories that last a lifetime, that and grey hairs) Then my Master’s research took over my free time, completing assignments etc. Having had the headspace recently to dig into why my productivity was dipping, I had to be honest with myself and those around me. All of the above are perfectly reasonable excuses to ignore my blogging/vlogging. The real ‘T’ is, I have hit that creative wall brought on by, ahem, a ‘mid-career crisis.’
Dramatic reenactment of the moment I knew I was in a mid-career crisis’s (crisises? crisises’es?)
Come September 2022, I officially hit ten years in the bizz’ness of teaching. I have had some varied experiences within this decade of teaching, starting with Access to Music Lincoln (Now Access Creative College) at the tender age of twenty, then Yamaha Music School and moving into secondary/further education, with the occasional summer school course thrown in. So far, I have experienced the full range of teaching experience and the yearly rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts that accompany it. As I move into my final year of Masters and the middle era of my teaching career, I must confront the existential quandary of, where do I go from here?
When I was on the cruise ships, there was a cautionary tale that you never wanted to be that person in the showband, who spent years doing the same gig on the same ships, propping the crew bar or got institutionalised to ship life (this is not a knock on my old friends who have worked on ships for many years and love their job, more on those who feel like they wasted opportunities to change career and felt like they had to settle).
I have always looked for experiences and opportunities to develop my view of the world, looking for new ways to be productive, essentially staying relevant in my specialism. My biggest fear is running out of ideas, becoming complacent, and becoming that person. In teaching analogy, the colleague who no longer has a passion for their school/college, phoning it in or delivering lessons with the enthusiasm of a Steve Wright standup gig.
My experiences of breakdowns have softened and mellowed over the years; I’m an ol’ sea dog when it comes to these feelings. As my brother reminded me, breakdowns are a blessing because they give you a chance to rebuild and strengthen your ambitions and examine what you really want out of life. Breakdowns critique your morals, ideals, and career ambitions. When the dust settles, are you sure you want to do X? Do they line up with you as a person and bring out the best in you? Why did your old thinking not work?
Rather than feel pity, I will use this learning moment to re-establish my focus, creativity and energy into the next part of my teaching and music career. For anyone reading this and can relate, here are some thoughts/perspectives that are helping me establish myself again:
Your career/job lifespan is long
God willing, If I make it to my mid 60s and still enjoy working in music education, I would have done alright. Teaching careers do not follow a linear path of fulfilment and progress. There have been mornings where I felt elated and invincible after a lesson quickly followed by a feeling of abject failure! The bigger picture tells me you don’t need to accomplish all in such a short time, or be a great music teacher day in day out, be alert to opportunities but remember your energy and focus are finite if you want to sustain a career as a teacher.
You will have plenty of time to reinvent yourself over and over and over…
The great thing about being a musician is that you have to be a good swiss army knife, translated: You have to develop a broad skill set to work as a musician. I have developed my academic writing, thinking, and research skills in music education to add to my existing musicianship, composition, arrangement and administrative skills. I made the mistake of thinking the next three decades of my music life would be dedicated to teaching. Still, as I proved to myself when I transitioned from performing to teaching, change is necessary to evolve.
If you are stuck, sound it out with people you trust
I did, but I flirted around my issues, which frustrated me as I couldn’t solve the problems, and they were none the wiser! So I spoke with some outside of my department, which helped me as I didn’t feel the pressure of guilt or feeling exposed. The fact that I didn’t feel too comfortable talking about my school issues is down to several reasons, and from reading about other teachers in similar or worse situations, it is not an isolated trait. Twitter is (surprise surprise) a pretty good platform to get advice if you’re ‘asking for a friend’ and a fantastic place to connect with authors, teachers and influential people. I was recommended a few books/blogs to read up from my interactions.
Sit down with your thoughts, welcome them in, give them time to speak and come to an agreement
This one comes from my brother, having read up about managing behaviour and emotions in sports from Prof. Steve Peters’ Chimp Paradox as part of his undergraduate study. Perhaps the tenth year of teaching, along with the subconscious expectation of what one should be doing at this stage of career, triggered the thoughts in the first place. Or maybe it lines up with my fears of being stagnant or finding something to make a difference. Either way, find the time to think about what is bothering you and don’t give it a timeline. I spent every morning before school tackling this and just patiently waited until I had some clarity in thought to sort it. My issue is most certainly the ‘feeling’ part of the brain sending signals for the ‘thinking’ brain to fix!
My plan for the next year or two with this channel is to present my Masters assignments as blogs, giving you an insight into what I learned from my reading and research. My posts might be few and far between this year as I get into my assignments, I hope that my experience on the Trinity Laban MA Teaching Musician programme allows me to share my expertise with you and branch out into the music education and research worlds further, connecting with others for collaboration.
As for my job, I am incredibly lucky to work in a school that makes most of my creativity and work with a Director of Music who shares the same ideals about how music connects people together, preaching the joy of interacting with music, through performance and exploration. One must never forget that teaching music is an evolving and dynamic experience. Doors open when you have creative solutions to fix something or enhance an existing model. When you allow yourself to see what is in front of you, good or bad, and see it without the mental noise, you might be surprised at what has always been in front of you.
Special thanks to Dr Emma Kell (@thosethatcan) and her brilliant book, How to Survive in Teaching: Without imploding, exploding or walking away, Dr Jill Berry’s (@jillberry102) blogs on mid-career crisis (which inspired this blog) and Marion Friend, who I have to say a special thanks for our mentoring sessions from the Music Teacher Association. Our chats over the years have been life-changing as it was who Marion suggested TL’s Masters programme. Forever grateful 🙂
Mike Wright Music Education 